I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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