you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
