is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
