Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We need a shit load of segways right now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
