Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize