After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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