Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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