Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
