this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
