I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
