i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Michael Bay diarrhea
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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