I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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