Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
