He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
