it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
