party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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