How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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