I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
