i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
