i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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