just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
