Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i now understand why vodka
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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