It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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