their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
