i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Randomize
