He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
