The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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