youre lurking in front of me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
pray to the hookup gods
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