I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
