I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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