I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
