So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
