I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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