if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize