"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
