I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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