i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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