Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
