so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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