Got a toothbrush?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
