when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
