i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
