Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
