WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
