OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
