what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize