Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
