Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
