he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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