Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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