I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
