good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
