white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
