im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh god it's open bar.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
