apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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