Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize