STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
