I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
