When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
